At the start of her keynote speech opening the second day of the 2015 NTSA 403(b) Summit, business management speaker Shari Harley stood off to the side of the ballroom, and asked if it was easier for the audience to hear and see her there, or across the room on the stage where everyone was expecting her to stand. The audience demurred slightly, but nobody said much of anything as she walked to the stage.
“If me standing there wasn’t okay, would any of you have said anything?” Harley asked. “No, and that’s my point.”
Harley’s website is candidculture.com, and her address focused on the ways that everyone, at work and in their personal lives, has conditioned themselves to tell others what they want to hear, when in reality both people just want the honest truth. She said no advisor — or any other employee in any business for that matter — should get blindsided by a client who decides they don’t need their services anymore.
“‘If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all’ — isn’t that the phrase your mom told you?” Harley asked. “This is why people are so dishonest. The people we live with and work with have been trained not to tell us the truth.”
Harley said that communication is key in building relationships, but it only works in the 403(b) market if the advisor is clear that they can handle criticism without being defensive, and also if there is a tangible reason for the client to be direct about any dissatisfaction they might have. She gave Summit attendees a list of questions they could bring up to both new and old clients to foster an environment in which everyone feels free to speak their minds without having the other party take it as disrespect.
The feedback questions Harley suggested that advisors ask include:
She said that most advisors won’t ask these questions, and while there is no guarantee that the client is going to give honest answers, it at least gives the advisor a benchmark for performance — while distinguishing themselves from their competitors.
“In a tight market, asking questions like this is a very simple, cost-free differentiator,” Harley said. “Even if people don’t answer, honestly or at all, at least you’re somebody who asked.”
Harley also suggested that advisors make clear that they can take advice without getting defensive, and she urged the audience members to train themselves to say “thank you” when people give them negative feedback.
“‘Thank you’ doesn’t mean whoever you’re with is right; it merely buys you time,” Harley explained. “When someone tells us something we don’t like, our natural reaction is to get defensive or explain why they’re wrong. Saying ‘thank you’ shows you’re considering what they have to say, and will allow you to formulate a response that doesn’t come across differently from how you would like it to.”
Harley also asked those in the crowd to raise their hands if they had ever had a client who never gave them negative feedback, and then one day took their services elsewhere without notice. Nearly everyone raised their hands. She said her advice would help prevent those kinds of situations from happening again, and said that, while it might be initially awkward asking for such blunt feedback, in the long run it will make all parties better off.
“Candor over comfort, always,” Harley said. “You can be comfortable when you’re dead.”
“If me standing there wasn’t okay, would any of you have said anything?” Harley asked. “No, and that’s my point.”
Harley’s website is candidculture.com, and her address focused on the ways that everyone, at work and in their personal lives, has conditioned themselves to tell others what they want to hear, when in reality both people just want the honest truth. She said no advisor — or any other employee in any business for that matter — should get blindsided by a client who decides they don’t need their services anymore.
“‘If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all’ — isn’t that the phrase your mom told you?” Harley asked. “This is why people are so dishonest. The people we live with and work with have been trained not to tell us the truth.”
Harley said that communication is key in building relationships, but it only works in the 403(b) market if the advisor is clear that they can handle criticism without being defensive, and also if there is a tangible reason for the client to be direct about any dissatisfaction they might have. She gave Summit attendees a list of questions they could bring up to both new and old clients to foster an environment in which everyone feels free to speak their minds without having the other party take it as disrespect.
The feedback questions Harley suggested that advisors ask include:
- What’s the best thing about our service?
- What do you wish we would do more?
- What would make our meetings more effective?
- What’s it like to call my office and talk with my assistant?
She said that most advisors won’t ask these questions, and while there is no guarantee that the client is going to give honest answers, it at least gives the advisor a benchmark for performance — while distinguishing themselves from their competitors.
“In a tight market, asking questions like this is a very simple, cost-free differentiator,” Harley said. “Even if people don’t answer, honestly or at all, at least you’re somebody who asked.”
Harley also suggested that advisors make clear that they can take advice without getting defensive, and she urged the audience members to train themselves to say “thank you” when people give them negative feedback.
“‘Thank you’ doesn’t mean whoever you’re with is right; it merely buys you time,” Harley explained. “When someone tells us something we don’t like, our natural reaction is to get defensive or explain why they’re wrong. Saying ‘thank you’ shows you’re considering what they have to say, and will allow you to formulate a response that doesn’t come across differently from how you would like it to.”
Harley also asked those in the crowd to raise their hands if they had ever had a client who never gave them negative feedback, and then one day took their services elsewhere without notice. Nearly everyone raised their hands. She said her advice would help prevent those kinds of situations from happening again, and said that, while it might be initially awkward asking for such blunt feedback, in the long run it will make all parties better off.
“Candor over comfort, always,” Harley said. “You can be comfortable when you’re dead.”
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